Did You Hear About The Time My Expedition Was Ruined?

Archie Brown’s dad had grown up in Arkansas. He had moved to Texas after his service in the Navy in WWII, to work in a chemical plant. But every summer, the family went to Arkansas to visit the kinfolks back on the farm.

Archie really loved the visits because of adventures he and his cousin, Sherman Earle, got to experience. Archie and Sherman were only 3 months apart, age wise, and they really got along well. Sherman’s dad kept livestock. He had a pond with lots of fish for the boys to catch. And he had dogs. Coon dogs.

One of the best of the dogs was called Rounder. He was named because he was expert at circling a coon till he could find an opening to catch it without getting himself hurt by his prey. But Rounder was a great dog for boys as well. He would fetch and do other tricks. He would protect the boys from snakes and other threats to their safety. Archie thought Lassie had taken lessons from Rounder on how to be a kid dog.

One day Aunt Joyce, Sherman’s mother, told the 6 year old boys they could go on a picnic if they took Rounder with them. She thought the boys would go to the end of the gravel road and eat under a tree within sight of the house. But Archie and Sherman had other ideas.

Archie and Sherm were excited to go on an exploring the woods. They made themselves a lunch of peanut butter crackers and a big jar of orange kool-aid. They took their lunches and their bb guns, and set off on their expedition. They walked nearly half a mile, following the bank of an irrigation canal, to a place where a tree had fallen across the canal. The boys put their lunches on a rock so they would have one hand free as they crossed the canal on the log bridge. Once across, they went into the woods and snooped around, taking pot shots at blackbirds and exploring land they were sure had never been discovered before.

Some time later, the boys heard their names being called by Aunt Joyce and Archie’s dad, Orel. The parents were horrified to think the boys had gone so far and could not believe they would have crossed the log into the woods. The boys got a very stern lecture that day.

The only thing that upset Archie and Sherman, though, was that when they got back, they found Rounder laying on the rock, having eaten their lunches. Archie and Sherman were really disheartened.

If a guy can’t trust his dog, who can he trust?

Did You Hear About The Time I Had My First Fist Fight?

Archie Brown was very excited when he got the news that the new neighbors had 5 children. One of them, Wayne, was five years old. He was about 7 months younger than Arch, but much bigger.

Wayne had two older brothers. Those brothers were pretty rough, and dealt Wayne a lot of misery. But it served to make Wayne tough and fearless. Archie, who was a first born and very skinny, learned that fact the hard way.

One day a few weeks after the Andrews family had moved into the neighborhood, Wayne and Archie were playing in the front yard of the Andrews’ house. They had a fuss. Archie demanded his way. He tried to cajole Wayne to give in because he was older and should get the final say on the matter. But Wayne was having none of that.

So Archie increased the volume of the argument. He called Wayne stupid! But Wayne was unmoved. Archie next threatened Wayne, but Wayne only laughed at Archie. His anger exploded and Archie hit Wayne on the chest. Wayne reacted by retaliating. He hit Archie in the stomach, knocking him to the ground! A surprised and hurt Archie cried loudly.

The crying brought Ruth Andrews, Wayne’s mom, to the door, and then into the yard to check on things. She asked, “Who started the fight?” Archie replied through his tears, “I it first, but he hit hardest!”

Archie and Wayne were great friends for the next 13 years, living next door to one another and sharing many great adventures. But the never had another fist fight. Archie learned that day in the front yard that there were better ways to settle a dispute with Wayne!

Did You Hear About The Time I Ruined My Season By Hitting A Home Run?

Archie Brown was a very good Little League Baseball player. He had played on a team as a ten year, competing well with the older boys. As an 11 year old, Arch had really made a name for himself in his small hometown. His slick glove work on the infield had become the talk of the town. And when he led the whole league in hitting that year, with a .428 average, there were predictions of his future greatness. Visions of playing second base for the St. Louis Cardinals frequently danced across Archie's own mind! He was one of only two 11 year olds to make the city all star team that year.

The next year, the last of Archie's eligibility for the Little League, the defining moment arrived in his first game of the season. Archie hit a home run. It was the first of his career. He had grown a bit, so it was not seen at the time to be as importatnt as it was.

You see, the thing is that Archie loved how he felt when he trotted around the bases on that homer. He was no longer satisfied to hit line drive singles, or an occasional double down one line or the other. He developed a hitch in his swing, trying to generate power and get under the ball. Archie's batting average suffered. By the end of the season, Arch's batting average was just a little above .300, and he was in jeopardy of not making the all star team.

Archie was selected to represent the community in the all stars, but probably as much for his previous year, and the fact that it was his last in the league. The coach of the team that won the league championship in town had the privilege of managing the all stars. Mr. Larson liked Archie and loved his defensive work in the field. But he was concerned about Archie's offense.

In the practices leading up to the all star competition, Mr. Larson asked Archie to bat left handed, which he had never done, in hopes he would get rid of the hitch he had developed as a right handed batter. Archie agreed, mostly becasue he respected Mr. Larson. And he knew that he might have to sit the bench if he did not cooperate.

When the first game of the all star competition began in a neighboring town, Archie found himself in the familiar lead off spot. But he was batting left handed. In the first at bat, Arch hit a slow roller down the first base line. But the ball hit the base and kicked away from the first baseman, so Archie had a hit. All the rest of his life he called it a true "base hit."

In his second trip to the plate, Archie hit a little pop up that ended up falling between the pitcher, the first baseman, and the second baseman. Any of the three could have caught the ball, but no one took charge and Archie had his second hit!

In his third at bat, Archie hit a seeing-eye ground ball that got between the third baseman and shortstop for his third hit. Unfortunately the team only had two more hits all night, and was beaten. In a consolation game the next game, Archie was allowed to bat right handed and went two for three, with a double.

Archie never batted left handed again in real game, and he only hit one other home run in the rest of his career, which included college ball. And he realized at twelve that he had a talent that was important to a team, but it was not hitting home runs!

Did You Hear About The Time I Found The One I Wanted to Marry?

When Archie Brown met Ronda, he fell head over heels in love. And the more he got to know her over the next few months, the more he admired and respected her. He knew he wanted to marry her.

And he wanted to buy her a diamond engagement ring, but he had a small problem. He did not have enough money to buy the kind of ring he thought Ronda deserved. So he decided to talk to his uncle about a small loan.

Uncle Winkie told Archie he would provide the necessary funds. But he counseled his nephew that he should really talk to a reputable jeweler so he would be able to determine just the right ring for Ronda. Uncle Winkie told Arch that they would ask him important questions in order to find out about things like Ronda’s personality and even her wardrobe! He had read about Primestyle.com, who offers the finest quality and selection in quality jewelry at low prices. Archie thanked his uncle for his confidence and his assistance. And he headed for his computer!

Did You Hear About The Time I Took My Daughter to the Doctor?

Archie Brown’s daughter, Evonne, called and asked him if he would be able to take her to see the doctor. She said she felt like she might have an ear infection, tonsillitis, a throat infection, laryngitis, bronchitis, pneumonia and sinusitis. In other words, she would have to get better to die! Archie said he would be right over.

When Dr. Neal came into the examining room, he made some inquiries and did a routine exam. But before he made any announcements about the treatments he would recommend, he got out his PDA and logged into Epocrates Online. Epocrates is a premium service for clinicians, designed to provide critical information about more than 3,300 different drugs, dosages, potentials reactions with other medications, and more.

After a few moments verifying the details, Dr. Neal wrote a prescription for Zithromax. He told Evonne to get some rest and take all the prescription. He was confident she would feel better soon.

Did You Hear About The Time My Wife Went Back To School?

Archie Brown and his wife, Ronda, had married while in college. She had quit school to work so that he could get his degree, and she never returned to finish her schooling. They had raised a family and Ronda never regretted her decision.

But when the children had left home, Ronda began thinking about taking a job. She had always been good with math and had an abundance of common sense. The field that most attracted her was computers.

One day she was browsing the web and found a release about Capella University. Capella is an accredited university that offers 76 different undergraduate and graduate degrees including one in information technology. She quickly contacted www.capella.edu and signed up for one of their online degrees She loves that she can go to school in her own home.

Did You Hear About The Time My Sister & I Needed Some Spending Money?

It was the first week of October, 1957. Archie Brown and his sister, Cathy, had no spending money. That was a big problem because the county fair was always held the second week of October. Archie and Cathy really loved the county fair. They loved riding the rides and eating the funnel cakes and other fair fare.

The two Brown kids had recently been given a little loom and some loops that enabled them to make pot holders. They loved the craft. They had come up with some nice patterns and could produce a quality pot holder in fifteen or twenty minutes. Archie suggested that he and Cathy go from house to house offering to sell their creations. Cathy loved the idea.

They took the pot holders they already had made to the houses in the neighborhood and were pleased to find a market! They sold the holders for twenty five cents for one or five for a dollar. They took a couple of dollars of their income to buy more loops and make a bigger inventory. When they finished, they went all over their small hometown, selling potholders! It was a great success and they had plenty of money for the county fair!

Did You Hear About The Time I Lost My Friend To Mesothelioma?

Archie Brown was feeling old. He had just been to the funeral for his friend Leon. Leon had contracted mesothelioma, probably from working around asbestos insulation at the power plant, where he'd been employed for 30 years. It was a terrible cancer and the treatment was hard. But Leon had been so brave. Archie was about to embark on a depression-induced sentimental journey.

Archie and Leon had been neighbors for 25 years. They had been involved in community service, they had coached Little Dribblers together, had been scoutmasters together. They had even become volunteers at the local drug rehab & alcohol treatment center. Fortunately, their friendship never needed rehab.

There were no secrets kept from each other. Archer remembered the cruise that the two families had taken together a couple of years before, to the Bahamas. When they got home, Archie and Leon had enrolled in a weight loss program at the gym. Oh, how they had eaten on the ship!

Archie's thoughts drifted to the situation their two sons and gotten into on the Internet by visiting a casino online. The boys had gotten into debt rather quickly. Archie had to transfer money to his son's account so that he could clear up the loans he had taken out. Mikey had even gone to one of those quickie places that offer payday. He had maxed out his credit cards, thinking that it would be okay because actually they were reward cards.

Like so many kids, Mikey thought that if he kept gambling, he could win enough to get ahead. He had hoped to win enough to pay for his car insurance. But when he got behind, he tried to reduce debt, at least enough so he would not need the dental plan.

But that was all taken care of now for Archie and Mikey. Their efforts and a little debt consolidation had erased the problem. They had gotten a free credit report on the internet and found their credit score was back to an acceptable level. Archie was once again receiving offers in the mail for low interest credit cards!

It had not been so easy for Leon, and his son, Jason. He and Linda, his wife had gone to credit counseling. Leon eventually had to refinance his home. He had done some investigation of equity loans and equity lines of credit. He had paid off his two mortgages a year before the incident with the boys, so he had some place to get help. He had restructured his homeowner's insurance, and changed his life insurance policies to term life. It had taken a toll on the family, but they had survived it as a family! Archie was glad as he recalled the recent outing the two families enjoyed to the beach. Like old times!

There were very few topics Leon and Archie had not debated and dissected over the time they had been neighbors. Leon had been one of the first to acquire a satellite dish for his television, one of those big contraptions that moved when the programming was keyed into the remote control. Archie kidded him mercilessly. When Archie had enrolled in one of those cell phone plans that tied him to a company for three years, it was Leon's turn to poke fun!

The two neighbors and friends pondered over the wisdom of seeking their medications through a Canadian Pharmacy, over whether they should seek Lasik surgery on their eyes, or teeth whitening, and even a facelift, to make them look younger!

Only a few years ago, Leon had gotten the idea that he and Archie should get into the modern era of communication and technology. He wanted for them to enroll in continuing adult education classes at the local community college. Archie resisted, saying he would just as soon start shopping for Lenox China!

But mostly his resistance was due to fear that he would be unable to learn! And Leon had eventually convinced Archie. They tried one class on computers for beginners. Both Archie and Leon were pleased that indeed they could learn, and were fascinated by things that were now available to them through the world of technology. They absorbed the. They were especially taken with the idea of video conferencing, since they both had children living hours away.

Both Archie and Leon had been leery of online banking and online marketing before their studies at the college. But both quickly found the benefits for their own lives and got signed up and involved in both types of activities. Archie bought a new laptop computer and got interested in online trading. He found an internet broker he liked and was constantly monitoring the business realm to see the progress of his investing. He even looked into university degrees online. Thanks a lot for getting me hooked, Leon!

But Leon was worse! He wanted his wife to start a business on their home computer, so she could work at home. He came up with a domain name he. He found a company that provided cheap hosting of websites. He had worked out a line of business credit and one of consumer credit at the local bank. The business had taken hold and kept Linda busy and produced a steady income.

That was really a blessing, now that Leon was gone. Leon had left an annuity & a few municipal bonds so that Linda would not have to deal with all that. Their insurance had taken good care of the medical bills. But the income from the online consulting would leave her future stable.

Leon had insisted that he and Linda seek legal advice regarding his illness. And he did not want to settle for a local no name personal injury attorney that he could pick from their yellow page advertising. The firm they chose had had some success with cases of wrongful death in mesothelioma cases. It appeared there would be a settlement in the case.

Archie has so many great memories of Leon. So many great times they had together before the treatments had made him so sick. It was difficult seeing Leon lose his hair and waste away over the months. Now he was gone physically, though Archie knew Leon would always be alive in his memories! Rest in peace, Leon!

Did You Hear About The Time I Went Skating On Thin Ice?

Archie Brown’s mom, Betty Lou, was often heard to warn her children, “You are skating on thin ice!” One day that adage took on new meaning for our hero! It happened on another trip to Arkansas, this time over the Christmas holidays.

The weather was very cold, especially for a boy from Central Texas. One night the creek that ran by his grandparents froze over. It was the first time Archie had ever seen such a freeze. He had never been ice skating, but that changed that day.

Archie and his cousin, Sherman, and Archie’s sister Cathy got on the ice, just in their shoes, and skated down the creek. It was a great adventure for them all. They skated fro most of a mile.

Sherman was leading the way, as he was familiar with both the area and the ice. Cathy followed him, with Archie bringing up the rear. Suddenly, Sherman felt the ice crack. He immediately turned left and got off the ice. So did Cathy. Archie saw them move and began to move toward the bank, but his size was a problem. He outweighed Sherman by 25 pounds or so.

Before he could get off the ice, it broke and Archie went through into the cold water. It was not too deep, only up to his chest. He fought his way to the shore and climbed out of the creek. Archie was very cold, and he began to run to his grandmother’s home. Before he could reach the warmth of the fireplace, his clothes began to freeze on him.

When he arrived, he took off the cold clothes at once, put on dry clothes, and stood for a time shivering by the fire. And every time he heard his mom’s warning, he thought of the consequences. It became a much more significant tool in his mother’s hands.