When Mom died, Dad wandered around aimlessly--figuratively speaking. My brothers and sister all did all we could to include him in what we were doing.
I remember the Friday after Thanksgiving, in my front yard, he and I were watching the girls play. Mom had been gone for 3 months. I made some remark about wishing I knew what to do to help him feel better. His reply, "Ralph, you can not be my buddy. You are my son and you are exactly what I want in a son. But you cannot replace what I had with Betty!"
I was caught off guard, and though I did not want to admit it, I knew it was true. I was thinking like a 35 year old who wanted to protect and defend. It was that day I realized that there is a different perspective in every relationship. It was that day that made it acceptable in my mind when Dad said he and Melba were going to get married. It was that day that made me seriously consider what I would really do if my precious wife were to precede in death.
I can not imagine making the adjustments of a new mate. But I hate to be alone. I would be as lost and aimless as my dad was, if I had no companion to help me see things clearly, and support me in the endeavors of life. I would not settle for just any wife, but I am relatively sure I would want to find a friend to spend the last of my life with.
I have a younger sister who was not happy that Dad was remarrying. She felt he was being unfaithful to Mom. The day before the wedding, she came to my house to tell me she had just come from meeting with Dad. She had told him that she did not want him to get married. He had said, “Yes you do, because you want me to be happy and this is going to make me happy.”
She said a few more things in anger and left to come to my house. She asked me what else she could have said. I told her she had already said too much. Dad has now been married again for over 20 years and we all love Melba, including my sister. We are all very glad Dad has a partner to share his life and fill his heart.
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