Did You Hear About Memory Loss?

When I signed up to blog, I accepted the charge that the best way to blog, and make money at it was to be consistent in posting. I was a little concerned at the beginning that I would quickly run out of things that I thought might be interesting enough to merit a blog.

So I began a list of ideas. I keep a list in the desk at home, and one in the drawer next to my computer in the office. If an idea occurred to me, I would jot it down so it would not slip away forever. Usually the ideas on the list consist of a key word or phrase that will help me recall the idea.

Now, one of the ideas I wrote on the list at the office several months ago is, “memory loss.” I am sure there was a funny story or a poignant point that I felt would be enjoyable for the community. I have moved that idea to a new note card five or six times, but I cannot for the life of me recall what it was I wanted to say about memory loss! How funny is that?

Then yesterday I got an email from the guy to whom my wife donated the kidney last November. It was filled with stories and jokes about old age. I want to share some of those with you now, but I am going to keep moving the note to new lists till that original idea returns to my consciousness, or blogging fades from it! For now, I hope you enjoy these funnies my friend sent.

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.

And my personal favorite: My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

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How Would you Like To Be Stuck With A Name Like That?

But I have met some folks in life that had been tagged with names that I would hate to bear. For instance, in school in the 50's and 60's I knew a girl named Gay Dick. Honestly; this one caught lots of grief, even when gay meant happy.

I met a guy one summer whose name was Don Cherry. His nickname was Buster! Down the street from us there was a boy named Danny Rhodes. His dad was called Dusty.

I know you are going to think i am making this up, but in the summers in Arkansas, I had some dates with Rosemary Cox-her pet name was Rosie, and she attended Weiner High! It's true!

And a grade ahead of me in our school was a young lady named Anita Lott-and she married Billy Moore. There was also Anita Martini-a sports reporter in Houston. And later I met Lacey Ball-frilly touch for a good athlete.

When I was a kid one of the best athletes in our little town was Royce Wood--but then anyone would if they had the chance. There was a girl named Wanda Ride-when you called her name she said she would rather walk. In my youth group years ago was Les Orr--not a good name for a minor! And the last one I can think of right now was Cindy Lippert-affectionately known as SinLip.

Do you have any acquaintance with similar burdens to bear?

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Did You Hear About Making the Gesture?

Archie Brown loves to tell about an incident that took place when he was twelve. Now, he had grown up in a small town, the year was 1960. In the elementary school he attended they were fairly normal boys. Some time in that age range, thay had all learned what it meant to make the gesture of extending one’s middle finger in derision of someone or to express our displeasure with another party.

Arch did not in his wildest dreams think it was a universal gesture. He thought it was some secret form of communication someone in his school had invented. So he was pretty indiscriminant in usage of the gesture, after all, not many people knew what he was “saying”.

One day at baseball practice, he was playing second base. His good friend, who was playing shortstop, laughed and made some remark when Archie made an error on a routine ground ball. Arch proudly demonstrated his dexterity in saluting his friend with the secret gesture.

Our coach stopped practice and chastised Archie for his vulgarity and began to inform the team that they were never to be seen making the sign again. He talked at length about good sportsmanship and good citizenship.

The coach did not tell Archie's dad. He was Archie's dad! Arch learned that day that his dad knew a lot more than he had given him credit for knowing.!

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Did You Hear About Pecans?

Here is another of Archie Brown's favorite stories:

There is one thing about fall toward which I look forward. Pecans. I love pecans. When I was a little boy we had three pecan trees in our yard. And the school grounds, two blocks away were covered with pecan trees. Every year in October, we looked forward to the pecan crop. Almost every day for a couple of weeks we would go to the school yard and gather the nuts that had fallen that day. We would sometimes wait to pick up those in the yard, knowing they would be there when we finished the harvest on the public grounds.

Picking up pecans is work, but there were some good reasons to pick up all I could. One of those reasons is that we could sell the ones we would not use, and a little spending money was always welcome. Most often it is what we used to fund our trips to the county fair. When I was a sophomore in high school I asked my dad for some money to buy my date to the homecoming game a corsage. His reply was “I only buy flowers for two girls, your mom and your sister; you need to find another way.” That sounds harsh to you, did to me at the time. But I believe it was his way of telling me he did not have any extra money. I had a week to come up with something.

That night, a Friday, a big thunderstorm blew through town. I got up early and went to the school grounds. The pecans were down, all over the ground. I worked very hard that morning and was able to pick up 117 pounds. Usually a good day’s total was about 20 pounds. I sold the pecans at the local feed store, and had the funds for my homecoming date.

I still love to pick up pecans. It is a time of quiet and a release of any worry about anything but the nuts on the ground. I now only pick up enough for our use. I will sit in front of a football game on television and crack the pecans, shell them. I did that during the West Virginia/Louisville game last night. When I fill a Tupperware dish with the little delights, I turn them over to my wife who makes candies and pies and cookies for the holidays. I also love to give shelled pecans as gifts to my kids. They know I am sharing a treasure with them.

I am nuts for pecans!

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Did You Hear About Forever Flamingo's Blog?

Archie Brown has heard that one of the current ways to improve the value of a blog site is to create links from one blog to another. There are a few bloggers Archie began blogging with who have decided to spend a little time building a network of links between their sites. They want to all improve our page ranking with Google, which is one indicator of visibility of a particualr blog.

Here is a link to yet one other of the bloggers. Forever Flamingo's Blog

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Did You Hear About Trying to Pop Corn in A Cold Pan?

Popcorn! Hot popcorn, buttered and seasoned just right, what a treat! But popcorn does not just happen. Many things must be done to be able to enjoy a delicious batch of popcorn. Even after you have assembled a pan, some oil in the bottom, and added a measure of corn, nothing happens unless you apply sufficient heat. You can't pop corn in a cold pan!

The corn does not pop at the first instant heat is administered, in fact, you cannot really tell if anything is happening. We wait anxiously, with a foreknowledge of what is to come. Then, when proper motivation comes, things begin to explode

At first the action is rather slow. Only a few kernels burst into the savory treat we desire. All the kernels do not pop at the same time. One goes, then others become agitated and start doing things. And then, it seems suddenly, there is a rush of activity, with many kernels popping at once, in all areas of the pan.

Then the great climax, when all the popping has ceased. The lid is removed from the pan and all rejoice at the feast to come. The only sad thought comes at the realization that some kernels did not pop and must be thrown out because of their uselesness.

Application of this analogy can be made to a congregation of Christians. Even though we assemble regularly and hear the truth spoken, you cannot really tell if anything is happening, Energy and enthusiasm are missing. Remember, you can't pop corn in a cold pan!

God is anxiously waiting, with a foreknowledge of what is to come. When the proper motivations is applied, things begin to explode. Not everyone gets involved at the same time. At first the action is rather slow, only a few individuals developing into the beautiful Christian servants God desires. One goes, then others get agitated and start doing things. And then, it seems suddenly, there is a rush of activity in all areas of the congregation

The great climax will be when our faith becomes sight and we can rejoice in our eternal home with the Father. The only sad thought is that some never lived up to their profession of belief and must be cast out because of their uselesness.
"And if anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire."

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Did You Hear About My Allergy to Chocolate?

Archie Brown likes to recount stories of special moments in his life. Here is another of his oft told tales.

I was sitting in my comparative anatomy class, minding my own business when I began to feel a strange sensation around my mouth, nose and chin. It felt as though my face was swelling. I covered my lower face with my hand left hand and continued to take notes till class was over.

I then went to the infirmiry to see if the nurse had any idea of what to do. When I walked in she looked at my face and said, "Uh oh, allergic reaction." I said, I was just sitting in class and had not been bitten by a bug, nor had anything else happened I could think of that would be the cause.


She asked me what I had eaten for breakfast. I told her nothing, only had a coke on the way to class. She asked what I had for supper last night, but when I told her, she said that was not the problem. Next she wanted to know what I had eaten after supper. I told her my wife had made a pan of brownies and I had eaten several while they were still warm, with a glass of cold milk!


Her immediate reaction was, "that's it, you are allergic to chocolate." I let out a shout heard all over campus "Nooooooo!"
I said I had eaten chocolate all my life and never had a negative reaction. I said "maybe it is coca cola, I drink lots of cokes". She replied that coke has chocolate in it. I was devastated, losing chocolate and coca cola all in one moment.


I asked if there was any doubt. She told me that I could go have a series of tests run to confirm, but that she had no doubt. She suggested that I go a few days without chocolate and then try a bite and I would know the answer soon enough.


Since I did not really want to know, I went a week or so without chocolate. But one morning my 2 year old was eating a Marathon candy bar and offered me a bite. Without thinking I took a small bite, congratulating my baby for her spirit of sharing.


Within minutes my body was coverd with welts the size of golf balls. I was miserable and very sad. I then went about three months without any chocolate. At Halloween the girls brought home lots of goodies and I opened a little box of Milk Duds, three measly Milk Duds! Within a few minutes of eating those morsels my face began to swell, my windpipe closed off and I was gasping for breath.


I decided that day that I like breathing more than I like chocolate, but it is only by a very narrow margin!

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Did You Hear About Inducemts Not To Have An Abortion?

Ronda Brown read about Dan Patrick, who is in his first term as a Texas legislator. He has introduced a bill that would enable the state to offer $500 to a woman who decides to give a child up for adoption instead of having an abortion.

Ronda knows that there is a waiting list for parents who want to adopt, so it makes some sense to me that the option would benefit not only the child but also the prospective parents. Ronda is opposed to killing unborn babies as a means of birth control.

And yet for some reason she is not really comfortable with the idea of this inducement. She can't put her finger on why, but it doesn't feel right either.
She can't wait to ask her husband, Archie, what he thinks.

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Did You Hear About Bulletin Bloopers?

Last Thursday Archie got a collection of such statements that were supposedly gleaned from various church bulletins. There are about two dozen of them. He will include the first four today, and add one at time as you stop by.



The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.



Please feel free to post any that you have seen yourself.

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Did You Hear The Secret of Our Long Lasting and Happy Marriage?

This is a story Archie Brown loves to tell!

My wife and I have had a long (39 years) and happy marriage, and I will reveal the secret in a moment. It is not that we don't argue or have moments of difficulty, or have not made mistakes. Those have probably helped us forge our bonds to be even more strong.

We have read a lot of books on marriage, attended seminars and listened to lots of advice. We have benefitted from that investment of energy and time in the hope of succeeding, not just staying together.


We have done lots of things to build our marriage and maintain the passion. I send flowers for no reason and she leaves little notes in places where I will find them one day and be reminded of the blessings of this woman. We play together and pray together and have common dreams, about which we talk--yes we try to communicate.


I am not the easiest guy to live with, I love to tease and I am a bit of a slob by nature, and I have never done anything wrong in my life (at least I can't recall anything). One day my wife was asked in my presence, "How do you two get along so well when you are so different?"


Her reply is unquestionably the secret to our long and happy marriage. She said, "That is easy, he is both of our favorite person!"

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Youth Dew

Archie Brown loves to buy perfume for his wife, Ronda. It seems to him to be such an intimate gift, so personal. He loves when Ronda puts on a scent he has given her, especially when it is their favorite, Youth Dew, by Estee Lauder. That is a definite signal. It will be a special evening!

This is a sponsored post

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Did You Hear About The Guy In The Breast Diagnostic Center?

Archie Brown has this friend who had to have a mammogram yesterday. This is a guy, old guy, ex-jock, old fashioned and overly modest. Not long ago he discovered a painful lump in his right breast. He thought at first it might be a boil in a very delicate place. But when it did not develop like a boil, he went to see his family doctor. Because Arch's friend's mom died of breast cancer when she was 56 and her mom died of breast cancer when only 27, the doctor sent my friend to the breast diagnostic center. The idea of cancer made Archie's friend keep the appointment, despite his discomfort in going to that clinic.

When he arrived he was very self conscious. It did not help that he had to sit in the waiting room with his patient id wrist band letting all of the women in the room with him know that he was not just there waiting for his wife. And then twice his name was called out loud so they could get information and have him sign some papers at the reception window.


He was not sure if he was more embarrassed in the waiting room or in the examination room. The nurse and the doctor, both women, were nice to him, but he was uncomfortable undressing and being "palpated" by the professionals.


The test results determined that Archies's friend has a condition called gynecomastia. That is an inflamation of the soft tissue of the breasts of men. The doctor thinks the condition is a side effect of blood pressure medication my friend takes. There is no danger to one's health. My friend was very relieved.


But Archie's friend thought the incident should be publicized on the blog site to let others know that breast cancer is not uncommon, even in men. He would advise you to be aware of that fact and pay attention to your body's signals. And don't let modesty or macho self images or embarrassment keep you from getting the tests you need to be sure of your physical condition!


Archie told his friend he would spread the word!

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Did You Hear About Our Becoming Grandparents?

When our oldest had been married for several years people began asking us if we were ready to become grandparents. My wife's reply was always, "No, I'm not ready." I could not understand that because I was truly looking forward to the experience, after all, every one who is a grandparent is positively radiant when talking about their grandkids.

The evening our daughter called and announced that she was expecting, we rejoiced with her over the phone and assured her that we would come to see her (13 hours away by car), when we could get away.

A few minutes later I realized that my wife had been out of the room and very quiet for a rather long time. So I went looking for her. I found her on the floor at the foot of our bed, next to her opened cedar hope chest. That chest was absolutely full of items that she had been collecting for her grandbaby for years. I looked at her and said "you lied to everybody about not being ready to be a grandmother." She said "No, I did not, I was not ready. But NOW I am ready!"

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Did You Hear About Our Book Study Group?

The young adults group from church came to Archie and Ronda's house tonight for fellowship and to decide a schedule for a book study they are about to embark upon. The book is The Case for Christ, by Lee Strobel. The group decided to begin next Tuesday, everyone is to read the intorduction and the first chapter before the meeting.

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Did You Hear About Our Dog?

Last November Archie Brown and his family rescued a beautiful yellow Lab from a local shelter,and named him Buccanneer. The vet determined that Buc was between 10 months and a year old and in very good health.

Their two grandsons, who live in our home, love the dog. They play with him every day, and do a pretty good job of being responsible for his welfare, at least as well as can be expected of a 5 and a 6 year old. They feed and water Buc and even scoop the poop without complaint.

Buc is smart, he learned simple commands very quickly. He is gentle with the boys, loves to wrestle and fetch and run. It is a true joy to see the boys lay on the ground in the sun, with Buc as a pillow. Buc seems like a normal Lab, he chews everything left in his reach, he digs in places we'd rather he did not.

The one thing Archie can't figure out is why Buc squats to pee in stead of hiking his leg and marking his space. Does anyone have an idea why? Will the other dogs think he is a sissy and make fun of him? Does Archie need to be concerned about his becoming a cross-dresser?

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Did You Hear About Beauty & The Beast On Broadway?

Archie and his wife had enjoyed the Disney animated film "Beauty and the Beast". It had become sort of a running joke that it was descriptive of us, she is a beauty and he---. When Disney decided to create a Broadway musical out of the story, they were excited to learn that they would open the show in Houston before taking it to Broadway. They bought tickets to the first ever performance and were blown away by it. It was a wonderful evening.


They were in D.C. the day of the 9/11 attacks, on a family vacation. On their way home they saw an appeal by the shows on Broadway not to let the terrorist win. They determined that the shows must go on and plead for folks to attend. Our 35th anniversary was coming up the next March, and Arch determined he would surprise his bride with a weekend in New York and a night at the play.


In October of 01 Archie Brown had already made travel arrangements, hotel arrangements and bought tickets on the 5th row center to see Beauty & the Beast on Broadway. But he kept it a secret through the Christmas season.


In January of 02, Disney released the film in IMAX form and it had a run in Houston. They made plans to see it, his wife and Arch and thier kids, their kids, his wife's mom and one of his wife's friends from work. They did not make reservations, and when they got to the theater, it was sold out. They left, and as they were leaving the parking lot, Archie's wife was telling everyone how she had really hoped to see it, and how fun it had been to see the Broadway version. Archie asked her if she would like to see again, and she said yes. So Arch reached in his coat pocket and pulled out our tickets for March in New York. She squealed like a little girl.

Archie had pulled off the surprise and become a prince!

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Did You Hear About Spring Break Plans?

Archie Brown is looking forward to the week of spring break next week. He and the two grandsons that live with him are making all kinds of plans to have some fun. They will go to a park, and go to ride a ferry from Galveston to Bolivar and back, they may fly a kite and see a movie. It should be a lot of fun. He is praying for enough stamina to do all the kids need and want to do!

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